7 Reasons You Fail to Reach Goals

Failure is Common

Everyone has failed to reach  goals at one time or another, usually more than once, in their lives. When it happens, it's natural to look for the why. Why did you fail? What happened? Whose fault is it? Your own? Someone else's?

Some goals are attached to lifelong dreams or aspirations that you are passionate about, and it can be exceptionally heartbreaking when you fail to reach those types of goals. Before reading further, acknowledge to yourself that failure is common, but that failure can also be the foundation for future success, if you approach failures in the right way.

Let's explore this idea further. First we'll look at seven common reasons why you might fail to meet important goals that you have set for yourself. Then, we'll look at how to move forward and be more successful with your next set of goals.

Seven Top Reasons for Failure

Why do some people seem to realize their dreams with ease, while you struggle to do the same? Let's look at some of the reasons you might be coming up short of your goals.

1. You are Lazy

That might seem harsh, but the truth is, if you're lazy, then no amount of wishful thinking or dreaming about your goals is going to help you achieve them.  You have to put in the time, the effort, the energy and the hard work to achieve success. If you find yourself constantly procrastinating, or only putting in half the effort that's needed to get the job done, then your problem might just be laziness.

2. You Set Impossible Goals

If your goal is to start a billion-dollar tech company before you're twenty-five years old and you're currently twenty-three and you don't know much of anything about technology, then you are probably never going to be the CEO of the next Uber or Google or whatever. 

That's not to say that your goals need to be easy or simple. Your goals should be challenging, but realistically achievable. Self-reflection and self-awareness play a big part in your success. What are your strengths? What skills do you have, or perhaps what skills do you have the aptitude to gain? Use this as the basis for setting achievable goals.

3. You Set Negative Rather Than Positive Goals

Your subconscious does not process negative thoughts very well. If you set a goal of "not losing this negotiation," your subconscious hears, "losing this negotiation." If I told you, "Don't think of a pink elephant," you almost certainly visualized, if only momentarily, a pink elephant that replaced the grey elephant you might think of naturally.

Your subconscious thought process has a huge impact on your conscious decision-making. State your goal as a positive statement such as, "I'm going to get the best deal I can from this negotiation." 

4. Your Environment Holds You Back

If your family, coworkers, friends and neighbors are not supportive of your dream-achieving efforts, then all your work might be in vain. It can be extremely difficult to succeed when everyone around you has a negative attitude about your goals. It might be challenging to reduce their impact on your success, especially with family because you can't always cut them out of your life.

Nevertheless, you can do two things that will help with negative associates. First, listen to them (they might have valid points, and their opinions likely come from a place of love or caring about you). It doesn't hurt to let them say their piece, and they'll feel heard. Then, assuming you are not swayed, be firm, but polite and tell them thanks for caring and trying to help, but you re moving forward on this goal anyway. Make it clear that the conversation is over and the next time they bring it up, tell them that, "we already discussed this so there's no need to go over it again, thanks," and then change the subject, or walk away if they can't let it go.

If that approach doesn't work, and it oftentimes will not, especially with close family who might feel more entitled to their opinions, then you might need to make the difficult choice to spend less time with them.  Limit, or even eliminate your contact with them. Always try to have supportive people in your life.

One last thought about your environment: your physical surroundings can also affect your success. Keep your work area peaceful, clean and tidy, with few distractions so that you can focus when you are working. If possible, have a space and time that is exclusively dedicated to your goal-achieving efforts.

5. Your Goals are Unwritten

Unwritten goals are the worst because they tend to be more nebulous. What exactly is the goal? Does it change (even just a little) every time you think about it? There's no permanency to unwritten goals and thus there's less motivation to achieve them because they're not as real to you.

So write your goals down. It forces you to be specific. It limits how many simultaneous goals you can have, because your list will start to look a little ridiculous after the fourth or fifth item. Fewer well-chosen goals means that you can target your efforts which increases your chance of success.

I like to hand-write my goals since I feel more connected to them. If you can, get a small whiteboard to hang next to your desk, or in your workspace, and write your goals on it. You will see them every day, as will your supportive family members and friends who come by. Everyone will be on the same page, helping you to move forward.

6. You're Not Measuring Progress

If you don't know where you're going, and how far you've gone, how do you know when you get there? Imagine you are moving across the United States. Perhaps you determine that it takes about ten days, driving 300-350 miles/day. You load up your rented cargo truck and set off, but you suddenly enter the twilight zone and are no longer able to track time or distance. So you just drive and drive and drive. Endless driving. You assume that you'll eventually arrive, but you have no idea when. How long do you think you can keep going, with no end in sight, before your motivation wanes and you give up? Or you get distracted by something shinier along the way, because you just don't know if you're actually getting any closer to your goal or not. 

A solution to this is to break a large, major goal into smaller, achievable goals. Tesla did not design their first car in a day. They had their big goal (the Roadster) and then their engineers set about designing the different components and systems that would all fit together to achieve the final result. Designing a single seat is a lot simpler than designing an entire car.

By having these smaller sub-goals, you can see your progress and that greatly improves your chances of overall success.

7. You Do Not Celebrate Small Victories

This item is intimately related to the preceding item. Breaking your goal up into manageable sub-goals gives you the opportunity to celebrate your successes, and with many sub-goals, you will have many successes along the way. Acknowledge successes and celebrate them with yourself, with your family, and with your team if you have one. 

Success breeds more success!

These repeated, episodic achievements stoke the fire of your desire and that in turn gives you the willpower and determination to realize your dreams.

Seven Tips to Succeed

I kind of cheated and gave you the tips to succeed in the preceding list of reasons why people fail. So let's just recap them here:

1. Don't be lazy.
2. Set challenging but reasonable goals for yourself.
3. Use positive language for your goals.
4. Surround yourself with people who support you.
5. Write your goals down.
6. Measure your successes.
7. Celebrate every small victory.

I hope these tips help you succeed. Share your experiences with the community in the comment section below.